I received a letter today from the Speech Therapist detailing the meeting we had last week. I read it and I cried. It was horrible to read. Of of Cameron’s problems were laid out in actual words, there in black and white. All my hopes of things getting better disappeared.
On the front page of the letter it says that the Speech and Language Therapy Diagnosis is
1) Severe expressive language delay
2) Social communication difficulties (He’s only 2 at the moment, so not so worried about this)
The first part of the letter starts out well, focusing on all the things he can do. This made me smile with pride. Cameron is a bright child and can do a lot of things that other children can not.
One part said that Cameron makes eye contact but is often fleeting. This is a sign of Autism.
The letter concluded with:
‘Cameron’s mother raised her concern about autism. I feel that he does have many of the traits associated with an autism spectrum disorder – an unexpected interest in number, colour, letters and so on; a desire to order things; rejection of unfamiliar objects of food; limited social and play skills and highly unusual expressive language. However, Cameron will need to be observed in a variety of situations and by at least one other relevant professional before a diagnosis can be made’
How do I feel?
Absolutely devastated. There are so many thoughts rushing through my head, wondering how, if he has got it, how did he get it? What caused it? Was it to do with me? Have I not spent enough time with him? Did it happen when I went into premature labour at 30 weeks? and most of all How do i fix it?
On the outside, he seems like a normal 2 and a half year old, perfectly happy, doesn’t want for nothing, just doesn’t speak. I know he can talk, I have heard him, so why isn’t he? What is preventing him from doing so?